Hey everyone, just got back from vacationing in Florida, Before we left I had gone to our local library and got some reading material. I got a book written by E. J. Tangerman titled "1001 Designs For Whittling & Woodcarving". It is a fairly old book but has some interesting reading and patterns in it. I just tried to find some information on the writer but when I google his name all it brings up are his books, no history on him. There was one page in his book that had what I thought was a funny article that many of us can relate to in some ways. I hope that all of you find it as humorous as I did.
Question I Wish My Friends Hadn't Asked
By E. J. Tangerman
I'd like that carving and I'd buy it, but I don't like pine. Can you copy it in mahogany or ebony? For the same price?
This carving has an empty hand. Shouldn't the hand have something in it?
Why do you carve rosewood? Isn't it hard?
Why is that bird just plain wood? Wouldn't look better if you painted it?
Couldn't you finish that faster with a sander?
Corollary: Why don't you use glossy varnish instead of wax?
Why did you leave tool marks? Were you in a hurry to finish it?
When are you going to have a cut-price sale?
Why don't you put things in a gallery? They only charge a third of the sales price. Can't you use the money?
Why didn't you exhibit in our church show?
What artist gave you that idea?
Couldn't you make it stronger in plastic-or iron?
How long did this carving take?
Why don't you make something at popular prices--under a dollar?
You cut all that out with a dental drill didn't you?
Why don't you carve stone, so your work will last longer and be worth something?
If I bring my kids over some afternoon, will you teach them to carve like you do?
Why don't you make carvings that will sell in a store?
Our ax is dull. Will you sharpen it? And a couple of paring knives, too?
Why doesn't our local library have your books? I can't buy them all.
When I tried to carve once the wood broke. Is there some trick to it?
Some time when you aren't busy, will you make my kids some toys? The ones in the store cost too much.
How come you can make things like this and I can't? I'm as smart as you are.
Can't you find a better way to waste your time than whittling?
Doesn't your wife object to all the mess you make around the house?
Is that head suppose to be the Mona Lisa? The two sides of the face don't match.
I suppose that's a good way to pass the time, now that you're retired. But why don't you get a part-time job somewhere?
Who helped you write your books?
Thank you Mr. Tangerman for your humorous article.
For those of you wondering, no there wasn't any oil on the beaches where we were.